It's a long story about how we got to where we are now but we did so starting in 1890 when our founder, Alan Friedriechbebe (he changed his name a lot) was born. He quickly developed an interest in con artistry, which his parents enabled provided they could get a share. He was in eternal having to give money to his parents until he ripely died at 134 in a poutine accident under suspicious circumstances.
Alan changed his name to Redginalt Xenu in 1914 to avoid getting run over by a tank. Redginalt was then arrested for insider trading a few weeks later and sentenced to 15 years in prison.
Redginalt served 5 years in prison while planning his escape, prisons were easier to escape back in 1919. After escaping with a cup of water and a string, he started a new life under the name of Tyrone Bepqis, and under this new moniker he began his career as a restauranteur.
Tyrone went a decade starting up dozens of unsuccessful restaurants before he struck it big with the Cruise to Nowhere, a restaurant that serves sliced bread. Customers were memorized and Tyrone became a trillionaire overnight.
Things were going well until 1972, when disaster struck! Tyrone's restaurant exploded! Thinking quickly, he changed his name for the last time to Jerry Johnson, and he spent 14 years refining his poutine skills.
Jerry started up this very restaurant in 1986, and he became a quadrillionaire overnight, and things have been going strong until this day, although we've been struggling since his violent and timely demise.